well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
