I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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