Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
