i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I puked a lego.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
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i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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