he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize