is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
