I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
