I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Is it because I queefed?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
