I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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