no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
All the doctor said was why
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
