Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
