someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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