If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
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