ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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