some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My feet surprised me
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