Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
