So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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