Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
