My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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