it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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