i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
that is very illegal...i love you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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