..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
