ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
i think i just lost a toe
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize