i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize