The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
