thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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