marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
