I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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