1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can't trust your balls anymore.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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