Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
