you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
