Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
