Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
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