I am puke
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
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We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
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Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today