Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  That text needs to switch to water.

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  (651): Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink (952): That text needs to switch to water. http://tfl.nu/83yo
  Replies (4) Good night (2345) Bad night (598)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?

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  (573): how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain? http://tfl.nu/ptj1
  Replies (7) Good night (3364) Bad night (713)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.

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  (561): i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching. http://tfl.nu/cq5g
  Replies (43) Good night (1301) Bad night (5279)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?

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  (717): where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from? http://tfl.nu/obbh
  Replies (27) Good night (2488) Bad night (6893)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.

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  (902): you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it. http://tfl.nu/s8ya
  Replies (28) Good night (3898) Bad night (1351)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.

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  (540): Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house. http://tfl.nu/gobb
  Replies (7) Good night (1570) Bad night (1011)
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  (+35): View more from

  i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.

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  (+35): i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry. http://tfl.nu/d5vb
  Replies (5) Good night (1950) Bad night (1300)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  $150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.

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  (813): $150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins. http://tfl.nu/s65x
  Replies (34) Good night (2987) Bad night (1102)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.

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  (360): There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe. http://tfl.nu/9hec
  Replies (5) Good night (1033) Bad night (1365)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.

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  (303): No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to. http://tfl.nu/fzx1
  Replies (4) Good night (1836) Bad night (1189)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.

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  (910): Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down. (803): Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you. http://tfl.nu/a5n4
  Replies (8) Good night (1877) Bad night (905)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'

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  (309): he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins' http://tfl.nu/d755
  Replies (9) Good night (1974) Bad night (1063)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA

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  (240): HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA http://tfl.nu/oasy
  Replies (2) Good night (468) Bad night (645)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.

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  (337): If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto. http://tfl.nu/lfjp
  Replies (0) Good night (873) Bad night (378)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.

  (207): View more from Maine

  What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?

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  (207): No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before. (207): What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now? http://tfl.nu/z0d4
  Replies (3) Good night (566) Bad night (302)

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