Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she told me i tasted like america
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
