so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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