You're my little dorito
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
