Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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