you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize