I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
