if only i could text you this smell
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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