We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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