Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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