As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
