i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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