I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
