haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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