So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
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He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
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He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!