so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport