took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
