Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least

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  (804): I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least http://tfl.nu/2p1t
  Replies (10) Good night (1511) Bad night (498) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am

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  (951): ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am http://tfl.nu/357a
  Replies (17) Good night (3114) Bad night (1274) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days

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  (847): I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days http://tfl.nu/mlev
  Replies (52) Good night (903) Bad night (3623)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.

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  (414): You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door. http://tfl.nu/h0ao
  Replies (20) Good night (5146) Bad night (995) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

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  (732): you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy." http://tfl.nu/a1we
  Replies (91) Good night (21490) Bad night (3013) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.

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  (773): Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom. http://tfl.nu/dmbr
  Replies (16) Good night (2039) Bad night (6570) Order T-Shirt
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside

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  (862): Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside http://tfl.nu/iwzn
  Replies (23) Good night (1168) Bad night (5335) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them

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  (503): I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them http://tfl.nu/p9tn
  Replies (12) Good night (2660) Bad night (1296) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

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  (631): At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you? http://tfl.nu/rik1
  Replies (5) Good night (3617) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid

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  (978): im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid http://tfl.nu/59ax
  Replies (8) Good night (679) Bad night (1911)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?

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  (337): Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think? http://tfl.nu/0xiw
  Replies (8) Good night (812) Bad night (1115)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito

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  (702): I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito http://tfl.nu/vmgk
  Replies (4) Good night (1679) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting

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  (941): I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting http://tfl.nu/c2bq
  Replies (5) Good night (1062) Bad night (542) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over

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  (503): drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over http://tfl.nu/dlzy
  Replies (9) Good night (1228) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea

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  (570): Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea http://tfl.nu/3xzx
  Replies (1) Good night (637) Bad night (317) Order T-Shirt

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