For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
