oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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