Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
