My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.