I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
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