Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms

(1-248): View more from Michigan

Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way

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(248): Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms (1-248): Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way http://tfl.nu/a42d

Replies (7) Good night (1049) Bad night (511)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.

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(507): We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them. http://tfl.nu/g8a0

Replies (20) Good night (3396) Bad night (891)
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(410): View more from Maryland

new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.

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(410): new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle. http://tfl.nu/lcrv

Replies (30) Good night (8193) Bad night (750)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?

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(203): walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something? http://tfl.nu/j190

Replies (27) Good night (7823) Bad night (1303)
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(858): View more from California

There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.

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(858): There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate. http://tfl.nu/dn5m

Replies (24) Good night (7483) Bad night (929)
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(619): View more from California

there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly

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(619): there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly http://tfl.nu/smco

Replies (6) Good night (847) Bad night (3602)
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(815): View more from Illinois

i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.

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(815): i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head. http://tfl.nu/g1i4

Replies (5) Good night (1934) Bad night (1609)
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(281): View more from Texas

I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on

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(281): I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on http://tfl.nu/3rfp

Replies (13) Good night (4364) Bad night (701)
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(541): View more from Oregon

side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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(541): side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children. http://tfl.nu/bng1

Replies (2) Good night (3338) Bad night (1021)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.

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(785): Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage. http://tfl.nu/6qi6

Replies (17) Good night (1203) Bad night (1767)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.

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(613): You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw. http://tfl.nu/41w7

Replies (10) Good night (1465) Bad night (937)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.

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(503): I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight. http://tfl.nu/rrui

Replies (8) Good night (2679) Bad night (699)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"

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(403): I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath" http://tfl.nu/0s5r

Replies (3) Good night (634) Bad night (228)
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(954): View more from Florida

He left his cock-ring in my truck.

(305): View more from Florida

Consider it a gay sex souvenir.

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(954): He left his cock-ring in my truck. (305): Consider it a gay sex souvenir. http://tfl.nu/filc

Replies (5) Good night (437) Bad night (345)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.

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(304): I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/jnka

Replies (5) Good night (694) Bad night (193)

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