I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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