just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
