Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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