what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You made out with two different species that night
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
