I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
