His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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