How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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