He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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