She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
