And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
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In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
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